July 16, 1994

Loonie, Frootie and Red

L - Hello.
A - Hello.
L - Do you have any messages for us?
A - Get a life.
L - Excuse me?
A - You heard me. Get a L-I-F-E. Go watch Star Trek or something.
L - What is your name?
A - Who wants to know?
L - Uh... Red does.
R - Yeah... I do. My name is Red. I got that name because of my hair color.
A - You have red hair?
R - Uh... no. My Uncle has red hair. I have black hair.
A - Then why is your name Red?
R - Uh... because my hair IS NOT RED. DUH! I thought aliens were supposed to be educated people. Sheesh. What is all that government money going for?
A - Social programs.
L - Uh... What?
A - Social programs.
F - What are you talking about?
A - You asked "What is all that government money going for?"
F - I did not.
A - Not you, Red.
R - Oh, don't bring me into this! I didn't say a thing.
A - Yes you did...
L - ENOUGH!
A - Damn skippy.
L - Ok, let's start from the beginning.
A - Fine.
R - Fine.
A - F-I-N-E.
L - So what's your name?
A - Who wants to know?
F - I do.
A - Red don't.
R - I do to want to know.
A - I am still bewildered why you are called Red.
L - OK! MY name is Loonie.
A - Well, the name fits.
L - Excuse me?
A - You heard me. You are barking mad!
L - I don't bark.
A - That is because you haven't had a decent date in ages.
L - What does that supposed to mean?
A - It means that you really need to get a new hobby other than sitting around in this dark room with all your flake friends pestering the shit out of me about why Red doesn't have red hair.
L - But he doesn't have red hair.
A - That has been covered.
L - Ok, my name is Loonie and I want to know your name. What is your name?
A - Pizza delivery.
L - Oh come on! What is your name?
A - Uh... Jehovah Witness.
F - You are a Jehovah's Witness?
A - No.
L - But you said you were!
A - And your point is? Man, when they labeled humanity as third density, I now know why. Damn you are bad off.
L - Once again, what is your name?
A - Landshark! I love pulling that on Earthers.
L - Are we going to spend all night trying to work your name out of you?
A - Isn't there other IMPORTANT things you would rather know?
L - Ok... Are you from another planet.
A - Yes.
F - Now we are getting somewhere.
A - You aren't coming over are you?
R - No.
A - Oh thank Thelema for that.
L,F,R - WHAT!!!
A - Oh never mind.. just making sure you are awake.
L - What is the name of your group?
A - The Loud Jack Daddy's. We play the Hilltop on Wednesday.
L - No! No! NOOO! What star cluster, stellar coordinate, galaxy name, Messier number, anything!
A - Are you sure you aren't coming over? I got plans and...
L,F,R - We are not coming over...
R- This is not going well.
F - No shit sherlock.
L - Ok, let's go back to the very beginning. What is your name?
A - Taliban!
End of Session

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